(Because I'm bored.)

LUCKY 13
Bring up a playlist on your computer and hit shuffle. Write down the first 13 words you hear in each song, and *only* the first 13 words, even if the phrase is not complete. If the song has no words just skip to the next song.

1. You took your clothes off, stood in the rain. You were always crazy
2. Karma police, arrest this man, he talks in maths. He buzzes like a
3. I turned around too late to see the falling star. I fell asleep
4. Mine, immaculate dream made of breath and skin, I’ve been waiting for you
5. I’m down a one way street with a one night stand, with a
6. Lying in my bed I hear the clock tick and think of you
7. I’m only pretty sure that I can’t take any more before you take
8. If you, if you could return, don’t let it burn, don’t let it
9. Are these times contagious? I’ve never been this bored before. Is this the
10. I will meet you in some place where the light lends itself to
11. She says it’s cold outside and she hands me my raincoat. She’s always
12. The sea swells like a sore head and the night it is aching
13. You. You. You, still a whisper on my lips, feel it in my

* * *

I have to say...there's some pretty good imagery in there. And some pretty crappy writing, as well. Huh.

How I Almost Got Raped by Some Drunk Asshole
or: yes, alaska does have the highest rate of sexual violence in the nation

I was hanging out with my next door neighbor, Jon. We were watching Big on TBS, or whatever channel it is that plays random 80s movies at 1 am. So, we're half watching the movie and half talking about Jon's recent breakup, when his roommate, Francis came home.

Rock knows Francis, by the way. When she was here, we had some drinks with Francis (and with Jon). Francis is a good drinker. When we were at the bar, the bartender actually refused to serve Francis because he'd had more than the legal limit of 6 (?) shots in an hour. Yeah. Good drinker. And Francis's friends are better drinkers.

So. Francis came home, drunk as hell. Bear in mind that this is the weekend before finals, so everyone on campus -- except me and Jon -- was trashed. Francis was bleeding. Turns out his best friend hit him in the face at some party, for no reason. Which is why Francis left the party. So. Francis came in and watched the movie with us. He'd only been home for maybe 10 minutes when there was a knock on the door. Well, "knock" is an understatement. It was more like someone was trying to break the door down while screaming incoherently at the top of his lungs. It was Fred, the guy who hit Francis. Francis did not open the door, and Fred eventually went away. OK. Good.

A while later, Jon decided that he needed a shower. (Jon's weird like that. Sometimes, he just needs a shower. Or to change his clothes. Or whatever.) Fine. Jon's in the shower, Francis is drunk, we're watching Big. About 5 minutes after Jon got in the shower, Fred was back, louder and more violent than before. "Shit," Franics said. "Oh shit." Keep in mind that it's finals week, so the housing people are really bitchy about 24-hour-quiet-hours in the dorms. Drunk Francis doesn't want to get in trouble because his drunk, underage friend is banging on the door, kicking the wall, and screaming.

Francis opened up the door, just a crack, and Fred forced his way in. Fred saw me, got the weirdest smile on his face, started to take his pants off, and stumbled across the room toward me. "Dude!" Francis was pissed. "Don't be actin' that way in front of girls!" Fred doesn't stop. "Dude! You can't do that! Dude! Put your pants back on!" I don't move because I'm terrified of the guy who beat Francis up. (Francis is a pretty big -- as in muscular -- guy, so the idea that someone can take Francis...well...yeah. Scary.) Fred kept coming at me, although slowly because he could barely stand up, and Francis keeps screaming. FINALLY, when Fred (also a big, muscular guy) was really-really-really close, Francis snapped out of his drunken state long enough to pick Fred up, and throw him against the bathroom door, thereby knocking Fred out. Francis then dragged him across the room and deposited him near the door, as far away from me as possible, but also preventing me from leaving. Not cool. Francis was too drunk to realize that he should have dragged Fred into the hallway. I suggested it, but Francis was too busy microwaving some food. Stupid drunks. So when Fred-the-potential-rapist came to and started leering again, his pants still unzipped, Francis started yelling at him again. Jon came out of the shower, very confused. He'd heard Fred slam against the bathroom door, he'd heard the screaming.

"What's going on?" Jon said. He, having just gotten out of the shower, is only wearing his boxers. "Signe almost got raped," Francis said. "Motherfuckin' Fred's too damn drunk." And that's when Fred attacked Francis again, calling him a "fucking faggot." (Somehow drunk Fred thought that Francis was putting the moves on mostly-naked-Jon, which was certainly not the case.) Fortunately, Francis was smart enough to get Fred into the hallway, and eventually got Fred upstairs to his room.

When Fred came back AGAIN, half an hour later, Francis was smart enough not to open the goddamn door.

I have never seen anyone so drunk in my life. Not even Andy the night he tried to drink his desk. And I did not bear witness to Eric's mustard incident, but I'm pretty sure that Fred was even more wasted than that...

It was not pleasant. Alaska is a bad, bad place.

Finally, something is getting done about this ridiculous No Child Left Behind Act. What do you guys think of No Child Left Behind?

This is for all you writers out there.

Jillian Suzanne Noble's Aliases

Your movie star name: Cookie Ralph

Your fashion designer name is Jillian Venice

Your socialite name is Bunky Madison

Your fly girl / guy name is J Nob

Your detective name is Tiger Lincoln

Your barfly name is Cookie Margarita

Your soap opera name is Suzanne Spruce

Your rock star name is M & M's Lightening

Your star wars name is Jilyog Nobbob

Your punk rock band name is The Tired Billfold

The Amazing Meganame Generator

I'm so glad that Britney Spears's pregnancy is posted on CNN's mainpage. It's not like there are more important things going on in the world.

Also on the CNN mainpage: Wisconsin is considering making it legal to hunt cats -- yes, cats. This includes housecats (pets!) with collars.

It's a great day for news.

Ursula Ann Arnold's Aliases

Your movie star name: Cheetos Louis

Your fashion designer name is Ursula Prague

Your socialite name is Victoria Madison

Your fly girl / guy name is U Arn

Your detective name is Water Buffalo Lincoln

Your barfly name is Peanut Butter Cup Cape Cod

Your soap opera name is Ann State Highway 34

Your rock star name is Japanese Cheetah On Cocaine

Your star wars name is Ursspl Arnwil

Your punk rock band name is The Tired Squegee

The Amazing Meganame Generator

For some reason this part isn't coming out right - it's supposed to be at the bottom of this little table thing! My sister outscored me by far!
You scored higher than 1% on proof (yeah I know I suck!)
You scored higher than 84% on beer index
You scored higher than 93% on wine index
You scored higher than 84% on liquor index

Rum Congratulations! You're 90 proof, with specific scores in beer (40) , wine (83), and liquor (52).

Bring on the mixers! Take something strong, add something without any alcohol and you got yourself a Cuba Libre, a Presbyterian, a Greyhound or a Whiskey Sour. You like your drinks strong, but with the flavors of your favorite colas or juices. You're willing to try something new, just so long as it doesn't give you a headache.

For all you teachers out there:

Here is a website that you might find useful in teaching. It is called "DNA From the Beginning: an Animated Primer on the Basics of DNA, Genes, and Heredity". I think much of it is basic enough to introduce to children. http://www.dnaftb.org/dnaftb/

Prom!

I went to the School of Information Prom on Friday night, decked out in a wig, false eyelashes and a cute strapless dress from Target. I got entirely too intoxicated on mostly vodka martinis and then some drink someone made for me - all at the pre-party. Will and I actually both got sick around 11:30 and ended up going home, but it really was a magical night :] This is Will and I, so far the best photo of him I have, more are coming, not only of me and him, but of the prom as well.

More pics here, here, here, here, and here

hand holding - you like to be in constant physical
contact with your special someone but you don't
want to take things too quickly.


What Sign of Affection Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Interesting. I think that someone in particular would disagree with this assessment -- I mean, about the wanting to always be in physical contact. That was a big complaint. The taking things slowly? For sure. How many years did that relationship take to come to fruition?